Showing posts with label Aliens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aliens. Show all posts

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Space Marines VS Diabetes Centres





The Mothership Titanis hovered over Earth's southern hemisphere.
Captain Astates looked over the planet.
The planet resembled his home, Planet Terra.
Multiple screens flashed continuous pieces of data which his battle-weary brain analysed
His fleet had been sent to scour the universe for humanoids to join the Imperium of Man in its fight for survival.
The Imperium of man is faced with a never before seen level of threat from multiple fronts, the Tyrannids, the heretic Chaos army and the Necrons. Their fragile alliance with the Eldar may not even last.



This sector of the universe has been largely unaffected by the ongoing intergalactic war.
It seems the human colony here is oblivious that a universal battle has been ongoing for millennia.
In this corner of the universe, this small planet holds 7 billion humanoids, with a calculated 1.2 billion potentially battle worthy men and women.

The scanner scours an island in the southern hemisphere
a building called "Diabetes Centre" piqued the tired captain's attention.










"Librarian! Come here! "
And get the Apothecarist Diabetes Mellitus here!

"Librarian! Apothecarist! What is this.........Diabetes Centre?"

"Hmm.. this is an ancient disease that became extinct during the Tyrannid Wars
I can't believe it still exists in this millennium," said the Librarian

"Apothecarist Mellitus! What do you know about your name sake?"

Wilhelm
Apothecarist Diabetes Mellitus was named after an ancient extinct disease

"Captain! Diabetes mellitus is an ancient disease of weakness. Either weakness of the genes or pure physical weakness. In those days people gorged themselves with nourishment until their pancreas' glucose regulation decompensated, culminating in hyperglycaemia and multiple complications of haemoglycation. This resulted in physical impairment and a shortened life span."

"Sir ! They treat and care for patient with diabetes and extend their life expectation," the first officer reported.

The captain's face was filled with disgust.
"You mean they  intentionally perpetuate this weakness in their gene pool?"

"Sir, this is not the only Diabetes Center on this planet!
The data suggest that diabetes mellitus is an epidemic on this planet.
The prevalence is increased by new incidence and and reduced mortality due to these so called Diabetes Centres."











The Tyrannid Wars caused a major shift in the Imperium of Man's gene pool by weeding out the weak.

The Librarian looked up from his books.

"This disease had been wiped out in all known Imperium of Man civilisations in the last millennium.
Multiple wars caused the purging of many diseases as natural selection took place. The weak and infirm were always the first casualties of war. Throughout the centuries, through natural selection, genes prone to illness were slowly weeded out."
In some cases when whole planets succumbed to Tyrannid infestations, they had to be purged (targeted for planetary destruction) and only the physically strong were evacuated.
Legend had it that the Tyrannids had a predilection to feasting on diabetes sufferers due their more palatable constitution."


Tyrannids, also known as the Great Devourer, most from galaxy to galaxy, devouring entire civilisations..

The idea of propagation physical weakness is too vile for Captain to handle.
"I shall purge this place and its weakness propagating activities right now! And the whole planet with it!
First Officer Tarus! Start the Exterminatus protocol! Set orbital bombardment protocols to planetary purge!"

"No sir! Such decisions should not be made with such haste!" Apothecarist Mellitus interjected.

"Tell me why I shouldn't purge this weakness from man's existence? This planet disgusts me! Why.. the thought of our warship being in this proximity fills my heart with dishonour"

"Although they propagate weakness, they have may have some potential.
 Though their military is far inferior to us, they are actually not dissimilar to the Imperial Guard."

Captain Astartes snickered.



Though they make-up the bulk of the Imperium of Man's army, the Imperial Guards are frequently looked down on by their Space Marines brethen due to their perceived inferior fighting capabilities.

 "Infact, though they have no spaceworthy military craft, they do nuclear weapons.
"Our simulations suggest if they did face a Tyrannid attack, there would be a 99% probability that nuclear weapons would be activated resulting in a nuclear meltdown or total planetary disintegration, thus eliminating the danger of the planet becoming a Tyrannid feeding nest."

"Hmm.. I suspect you are being partial to these weaklings because of your name?"

"No Sir! We apothecaries are named after vile disease to remind ourselves of our daily fight against weakness, whether of the mind or of the body."

"Very well.... let us leave this system and get this planet out of my sight before I change my mind!"







Saturday, 3 December 2011

Case Study: Alien Infestation as Atypical cause of Chest and Rib Pain

Date 23/11/2080

Admitted under GM 19, Dr Chang. Rejected by cardiology- unlikely to be cardiac.

Patient Name: Corporal J .Hicks
Age: 32
Male

Presenting complaint: Chest pain - 1/52

History of Presention Compaint:
Patient has had 1 week of central chest pain. Feels like "pounding" At time feels like chest about to burst.
Pain radiates to back. Pleuritic. Associated with SOB.
Chills and sweats for 2 weeks.
Haemoptysis 4 days.
Recent long haul flight from mining colony #210 on Betelguese system.
Cryostasis for 1 month.
Arrived 2 weeks ago
No calf swelling or calf pain.
Previously fit and well

Past Medical History:
Asthma

Medications:
USCMC issued Stim-packs

NKDA

Family History:
Negative for cardiac or thromboembolic disease

Social History:
Recent assignment to Colony #210 Betelguese system
Corporal in United States Colonial Marine Corps
Non smoker
Some alcohol


O/E Patient is pale and diaphoretic.
   BP 100/55mmHg   Temp 37.5
  Sats 88% RA
Pulse 110/min
JVP raise at 6 cm
Pectus carinatum?  Chest dullness to percussion bilaterally.
Very prominent ventricular heave
Chest reduced breathsounds and crackles throughout
Abdo distended, mildly tender. Epigastric tenderness.


Differentials: ? PE
                   ? LRTI
                    ? Alien infestation

Plan :
Isolation chamber
Needs armed security 24/7
Enoxaparin
IV Cefepime + Metronidazole


Date 24/11/2080

Post take:

Patient died overnight.
Chest wall exploded while in isolation chamber.
Alien facehugger unleashed from thoracic cage.
Successfully neutralised by arm guards after killing one guard.

Postmortem not planned as risk of contamination
Body for incineration
Notified Galactic Ministry of Health and US Colonial Marine Corps




THE FOLLOWING MINISTRY OF HEALTH WARNING HAS BEEN ISSUED!

If you have pounding chest pain and have been in alien contact within one month, please DO NOT board any ships.




Always wear mask and gloves when dealing with contaminated patients!






The M41a Pulse Rifle is your doctor recommended management for alien induced chest pain. 
Preferably with a grenade launcher attached.