Cara-cara anak mengelakkan masa tidur

1. Nak baca buku

2. Nak minum air

3. Nak minum air lagi

4. Nak cerita

5. Nak bual bual

6. Sini sana gatal

7. Nak minum air

8. Nak pergi kencing

9. Tak dapat tanggal diaper 

10. Cuci tangan

11. Basah, tukar baju

12. Mau diaper baru

13. Tidur

Learn Foochow Case Study 1 - " me lo di " = " buy bread"

When I was about 5-6 years old, I recall one night my mum and my sister going out to some event.
And they kept saying something like "Mari me lo di" or "Mary me lo di"
I was really confused, cos it either meant "Come buy bread" or "Mary buy bread"
(Mari= "come" in Malay)
What's the big deal about buying bread?
And who is Mary?

I didn't actually work it out until many years later..
Like .. many many years later..
Like the sun rising from the east,

It dawned on me...
It was some kinda piano event called "Merry Melodies"... at least, I think it is..
True story!
That's all folks!

What is your ranking in Malaysia?

During my recent travels, it was again reinforced to me that the world ranks people to different classes/rights. When I was in the airport, people in first and business class boarded first, got served better and had their own "lounges" which were off limits to "cattle class " people like myself. Then I went to Marina Bay Sands mall in Singapore. I realised a single item in many of the shops there would have finished up the entire allocated budget I had for the trip. Often the shop was open but the doors were closed, I felt it was a unspoken sign to keep out people of a "lower" class. In these scenarios, people were classed based on how much money they owned or were willing to spend. In Malaysia, we often use the term "second class citizen" to describe a class of people with less rights according to the law than others. We are talking about discrimination written into law, not discrimination by the population. In fact this phenomenon is not isolated to Malaysia, many countries follow this kind of discriminatory practices. Fijian Indians mention that they are "second class citizens" as well. As the Malaysian election looms, I just thought I'd make a list of different ranks of rights/benefits of people in Malaysia. This is just my opinion to be taken as is. You may be free to disagree. Feel free to comment. Please note I am not a hater nor do I condone hate between people. I think it is the most foolish sentiment of all. In the end, God is the only true judge of us.



What is your rank in Malaysia?

1. UMNO members
2. UMNO cronies
3. Other BN members
4 . BN cronies
5.  Malays ( Bumiputras - think they are 1st class but actually number 5)
6. Non-malays who are muslims ( pseudo Bumiputras )
7. Non Malay indigenous people ( actual Bumiputras but second class Bumi rights)
8. Malaysian Chinese/Indian    ( think they are second class but actually number 8)
9 Dan lain-lain ( and others)

I have a dream.... a dream to be number 2 again.
Let us reclaim what it should be..

1. Malays and other indigenous ( Bumiputra)
2. Dan lain lain -  ( me)

Are you ready for CHANGE?

Finally, I wish you to ponder this famous quote below

First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the socialists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Catholic.

Then they came for me,
and there was no one left to speak for me.

Martin Niemoller (1892-1984)

Tale of 3 Budget Airlines : Jetstar Vs Tiger Airways Vs Air Asia Review

So, this time I went back to Malaysia via Singapore I took 3 budget airlines.

Auckland <----> Singapore             Jetstar



Singapore <----> Kuching    Tiger Airways



Kuching <-----> Sibu            Air Asia


All in all the return trip added up to 6 flights altogether.
I'll give a quick review for those who might be interested in travelling with these airlines in the future.
This just based on my experience from  this trip.
I will rank them in categories

Online Booking

1. Jetstar wins this one- you can choose your seats from the remaining ones for free ( when you check-in online)
2. Tiger - Okay
3. AirAsia- More tedious than the rest. Although all budget airlines have hidden costs, AirAsia tries to milk you for as much as they can. I particularly hate the "opting out" for travel insurance. They add in the cost of insurance automatically and you have to opt-out by clicking a difficult to find "cancel" button.
After you click cancel, a pop-up will ask you
" Are you sure you want to cancel?"
and you will be given 2 options"
"Continue" or   "Cancel"
Guess which one you need to click to cancel your insurance?

AirAsia was recently fined by Australian courts for false advertising and multiple hidden costs.

Checking In

1. AirAsia - AirAsia wins this one as you have online check-in and you can print out your boarding pass online. This means if you have carrying-on baggage only, you can go to the airport and board the plane without going to a counter. They also have kiosks for checking in at some airports.
2. Jetstar- You can check-in online but you can't print a boarding pass. Checking in online does speed things up as the baggage drop line is usually faster.
3. Tiger Airways- Online check-in for limited flights and only available to Singapore citizens.

Punctuality

1. AirAsia and Tiger Airways - both were punctual, taking off on time. Tiger Airways arrived in Kuching a bit earlier than scheduled.

2. Jetstar - Take-off was delayed for 40 minutes on my return journey to Auckland and we arrived 1 hour late!

The Flight/Aircraft

Difficult to compare as obviously different crafts were used for different journeys.

1. Jetstar seats were reasonably comfortable and you get to choose seats from leftovers. They also had shared monitors where random in-flight entertainment were screened.
Tip: Bring a personal earphone, you can listen to music and watch TV without having to buy one.

2 +3 . AirAsia and Tiger tie for providing me with cramped seats for one leg of the journey each.
 ( one flight was okay and one was cramped). This things depend on your luck I think.

All 3 airlines use Airbuses rather than Boeings but that doesn't mean much.

Food:

I didn't try the food on any of the airlines this time although I have tried AirAsia food before ( it's okay).
Food is generally overpriced and not as good as what you can get at your destination. Get it if you need to for sustenance. I bought drinks to keep hydrated.

Service:

Draw
I did not have any trouble with service at the counter or in the air.

You do need to pack your luggage properly because the ground crew love throwing your luggage around with gay abandon. I'm not sure if this is airline specific, it's probably more likely to be airport specific. Cookies can become crumbs. Either mark your luggage as fragile or hand-carry delicate stuff.

Good lookingness of air crew

AirAsia wins this one, if it matters to you.





In summary, I have to give Jetstar a thumbs down for this trip as a delayed flight is the bane of any traveler.
The excuse we were given this time was "ground crew is still loading your luggage"

Happy Travelling

Listen, Listen, Listen

Stop!
Collaborate and listen...
Something happened at a university forum in Malaysia recently and it wasn't a Vanilla Ice concert.
UUM (University Utara Malaysia) held a forum called "Seiringkah Mahasiswa dan Politik"
translated as are "Are Undergraduates in line with Politics".
Simply, it looks like a brain washing session to me, with the election round the corner, this is no surprise.
At the beginning of the video , you see the students taking an oath saying they won't participate in street demonstrations and wont be a "destroyer of the country".

What what follows was a bit more ugly.
An obviously bright student stood up and pointed out that that the Bersih demonstration was legal.
Bersih was a demonstration to rally for clean and fair elections in Malaysia.
After this she went on to ask, why can't Malaysia afford free education for their future generations backing up her point with facts and figures. Then the insanity starts..



Suddenly she was interrupted by the MC who just started talking while the student was mid-sentence.
Unlike Kayne West she didn't even let her finish!
" I'MMA LET YOU FINISH- NOT!

Then came a very rage-inducing condescending rant from the MC
A long string of " listen listen listen listen listen .." to silence the student,
followed by " Let me speak, let me speak " repeated ad nauseam.
I had to turn the video off because it was making me sick

Okay.. for this blog I forced myself to finish watching the video
(I have to admit I skipped a few parts of the video to avoid brain damage)
I hope you readers are grateful that I polluted my brain for your benefit.
I suppressed my gag reflex and listened to the vile faeculent bilious vomit coming from this woman's mouth.
Somebody give her some ondansetron  and fleet enema stat. Cause the "$%!# has gone the wrong way.
Wait, give me the ondansetron instead!

She went on to insult the student for comparing Malaysia to other countries
 " What are you doing in Malaysia?" " you can go everywhere"
Tragically this sentence is all too familiar to us, Malaysians.
This is a common phrase used by racists and sections of the current ruling government.
"Don't like Malaysia, just leave"
"Tak suka, balik Cina, balik India "  ( Dun like it go back to China, or India )

Then she went total nutjob and started talking about animals.
Unfortunately she doesn't know the english word for shark but used "Jaws" instead. Truly an embarrasment to her education. Among other things, she insulted the student's education, her age and also mocked her for being in the university.

The reaction to this video however has given me hope.

95% of commentors felt that the MC was frankly a &*%&*
Personally I'm thinking of a word rhyming with "itch"
The video on youtube was viewed 20000 yesterday.
Today it has hit over 200k views.
This is a good indication that the majority of Malaysian net-users at least still know what is right or wrong.


Many UUM students piped up to say this does not represent their university  as this was an outside speaker, not a university lecturer. I hope so, but the average level of intelligence I observed was frankly not very high and the organiser was basically condescending the whole hall.
The MC even shut up a speaker on the panel with
" Who wants a Galaxy Note!"
( another not uncommon tactic, given away gifts to keep the sheep in line)
In my opinion, when that student left the hall, the average IQ of the hall dropped.

I really wonder, do they even know what a forum is for?
This is not a kindergarten class where little kiddies have to listen to everything the teacher says .
This is supposed to be a forum in a tertiary centre of education where young minds are challenged and grow.
I didn't see any encouragement of independent thought or challenge of new ideas.
Just an stifling of anyone with a different opinion
Really shameful.. really not unlike the dictatorial style of Msia's people in power.

The video below perhaps gives the best suitable response to this saga.

Notice I didn't mention the MC's name. She disgusts me so much I just don't want her name on my blog.

The name of the student , however is Bawani.

And she, has my RESPECT

More food for thought.. this is an Iranian video my friend shared on Facebook today

Char Kueh Teow at Satay Kajang Wellington

Okay. If you had to rate between fried rice, fried noodles, fried kueh teow and fried mee hoon, how would you rate them , in order of preference. Mine has been, since childhood..
1. Kueh Teow
2. Fried noodles/ Chow Mien
3. Fried rice
4. Fried mee hoon/ bee hoon

How hard is it to find good Kueh Teow in NZ ? Plenty hard. In Christchurch, I have  given up ordering kueh teow because at most places the kueh teow is dry, oily and really uninspiring. I'm talking about some popular places with names beginning with "Joy..." and "Foo...." . The only place that's close is "Wok on In" in Kendall ave. Its possibly the best in Chch. But their kueh teow has dropped in quality somewhat throughout the years.

The best kueh teow I have had so far in NZ is at Satay Kajang, Wellington. And I am reminded of this again when I visited Satay Kajang recently. Having had the Kueh Teow at Oriental Kingdom ( Wellington) the day before just reinforces the superiority of SK's kueh teow. First you will note that the kueh teow itself is differs from most other restaurants. Its fatter and wider. Either they made it themselves or have a different supplier than others. Either way it didn't have the " imported dry and reconstituted with water" feel. The texture is soft and moist like what freshly fried kueh teow should be. The most striking feature is the "char". As my friend Oli, put it, it has "the char". What do I mean by "char". I envision the kueh teow stir fried  in a wok over mad flames, thus leaving it with a slight smoky, flame cooked taste. In fact, as a child I used to watch the chefs brutalise the kueh teow over flames that sometimes leap a foot high , tossing the contents of the wok like there's no tomorrow. That is the essence of "char". To top it of,  it's got generous amounts of egg and taugeh/bean sprouts. And of course char siew and some fish ball slices.
And you know what, there NO broccoli, cabbage or carrots ! Not that broccoli is bad for you but have you ever seen broccoli in kueh teow in Malaysia? It's like putting bok choy in Big Mac . What's the big idea eh?
The taste is authentically Malaysian. Better than some places in Malaysia even. FYI, the best kueh teow I've had in Malaysia still has to be in Penang.

Anyway , if you are craving good kueh teow. This is definitely my recommendation. No  broccoli, no carrots, no compromise!

Let me know where's your favourite place for kueh teow. And  also how u  rate kueh teow vs the others ( rice, noodle and bee hoon)

Learn Foochow 102 - "Du" - PiG

Okay.. lesson number 2. I will base it around one word. "Dṳ " or " Pig".
(ṳ is the French u in lune or German ü as in für)

If you missed lesson one, here is the link
Learn Foochow 101





Okay.. here are various uses of the word "pig".
Most of what I have listed below are used as some form of insult.
I'm not suggesting you go insulting people, but some situations may call for it :)

1. "Du" - Pig



2. "Ya Du " - Wild Pig/Boar



3.  "Bui Du"  - Fat pig



4. "Dian pa Du" - Crazy pig



5. "Du tao"  - Pig head





6."Sai Du" - Sh#t pig



7. "Du Ka" -Pork leg



7. "Du Ve Ge" -"Pigsy" - Monkey King's Companion in Journey to the East
                     http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhu_Bajie



Have fun!
If you want more lessons, please let me know in the comment section!

KFC- that's where I want to be?

As my friends might know, I like KFC... kinda. Actually lately I've found the quality of KFC chicken hasn't been that good, and I've been opting for my other favourite, the triple roast rice.

Anyway, lately there has been a lot of hoo haa about an incident at a Malaysian KFC store where a KFC worker assaults a customer. The story as far as I gather is that the customer waited for 45 minutes in a queue only to be told they had run out of chicken. The customer got pissed and exchanged some angry words with the KFC worker. Then the whole kitchen staff came out in force to give the customer some kung fu service.

A few names have been going around for this video such as Kung Fu Chicken. Or Kentucky Fight Customer.

Anyway below is the video of the incident.

The stupid thing is, has stirred up 2 parties, one supporting the customer and one supporting the KFC worker. You would think that attacking a customer is never acceptable, but this is Malaysia, so go figure. What I've been thinking is, really in Malaysia, consumer rights is a concept that is a bit alien and often neglected. In all likelihood, a complaint ( about the absence of chicken) would probably not lead to any action. What the customer was asking for (angrily) was an apology or he would complain. The sad fact is, the KFC manager was in the store and  did not offer any apology for his KFC store running out of chicken. Everyone else in the store seems to "just take it" after waiting for 45 mins for nothing.

Oh well...
Here is another exciting video of KFC Malaysia

On a good note someone went to KFC and didn't get beaten up..

Local boy who's been overseas for too long gets owned by mosquito

Beware graphic content !
Discretion is advised!



Meanwhile... in other news..

Sibu: Local boy who's been overseas for too long gets owned by mosquito

Got you! - Aedes Aegyti

Local boy who's been overseas for too long get gastroenteritis from eating at local stall

 Jan 17 2012   last updated 1021GMT


SIBU: Local boy who's been overseas for a long time but still thinks he is local contracts diarrhoea from local food stall.
Mr Noob, who refused to give his name and age, has been overseas in some "ah mo" country for a while and is back for CNY.
He has been seen frequenting all the local coffeshops and stalls around town.
He still views himself as "local" despite the different sentiment of true locals.
It is reported at 1600 pm yesterday, he started getting chills and shakes and subsequently developed diarrhoea.
He is now bedridden with misery.
He refused to give a comment so we have interviewed the people around him

Friend: I told him lah, foreigner come and eat here always get "lau sai" lah. But he don't believe.
He say his stomach like iron. Can tahan. Now see?

Stall owner : Haiya that budak, cannot even speak local properly. I already know lah. Speak with accent but try to be local.  I knowlah, he olledi like banana, where got can tahan local spicy food? I make sambal belly belly nice one, u wan or not?

Stall owner 2 : I see him already know, this boy sure trouble one. Cannot even order food properly. See already sien. He even say "thank you" somemore. Ptuiii! Who says "thank you" around here!
He dunno, I already chop him! ( makes chopping movement with his hand )
Somemore, he try to pay with with 50 ringgit note. Jialat! I hate people who give me big note. Sia ba jin eng ( foochow: eat full nothing to do) Wah he think this is hotel hah?

Passer-by : I saw that nerdy pale boy, eating so happily there. I think.. where is this boy from ah. Speak "ing ung" (Foochow: english) somemore. Want to show off issit. Very "gen"" issit? Take picture of his food somemore. Good good.... now he get kena.

Mother: I told him, dun eat outside so much, not good for you. Eat at home already can. But he never listen.

Brother: Hahaha, he kena "owned"

Our latest report is that he is recuperating in an airconditioned room, cos he is too weak to take the heat.



Reuters 17 Jan 2012


This is the author's impression of the possible scenario

* the above story is not true news but inspired by real life events

Touching Chinese New Year Commercials

Since it's Chinese New year soon, I've compiled a few touching CNY commercials. Hmm.. warned, tissues may be needed.

 

 

The following is still my all time favourite !

 

Satay Celup Melaka

Hmm.. One of the things I was looking forward to in Melaka (Malacca) was the Satay Celup. Celup means "dip" in Malay. Satay is a traditional Malay dish that consists of marinated meat on sticks cooked over a charcoal fire. Its closest western cousin is a barbequed kebab I suppose . Satay is always served with a thick peanut sauce with optional rice/ketupat cucumber and onion. Satay celup is different in that you get to choose from a variety of food items on a stick/kebab. This is then cooked in a boiling stew and served with sauce. Hence, satay celup is actually quite different from the quintessential satay. The difference between Melaka satay celup and elsewhere is that the "stew" they use to cook the satay is the rich peanut sauce itself! The crazy Malaccans/ orang Melaka. I love it !




First, NY and I arrive at the restaurant. There are many places to have satay celup in Melaka, I'm not a local, I just follow my "tourguide". I took a pic with the restaurant name in case anyone wants to know. In the middle of each pot is a boiling pot of hot sauce. Its kinda like a steam boat/hot pot. Its all self service like many steamboat restaurants nowadays.





Step one, select want you want to east from a variety of choices . Some choices available include fish ball, meat, tofu, vege, squid, clams, prawn and a variety of fishcake/ball related food.

Step two, chuck them in . While the kebabs are boiled alive* in hot oily rich sauce , I lick my lips with glee. The occasional drop of saliva hit the table but no one cares.
The waiters/waitresses come frequently to top up the sauce and stir it so it, doesn't get burnt .

After a few minutes, the food is ready to be served. Chow down!!!

Aftermath..

The brutality of this dinner is evident with the sauce splattered everywhere..
Final casualty count 33.
33 brave kebabs made the ultimate sacrifice to satisfy Winston's appetite.

Total cost for 2 people including drinks = RM25.00!

So if you ever get the chance to try Satay Celup , go for it!



* no live food was actually cooked during this meal . "Boiled alive" is an expression used for dramatic effect.

Learn Foochow -101

I would like to give you all a lesson in Foochow, which is a dialect spoken in my home town Sibu.
To start with  , I will give some easy words you can learn



1. Milo - Don't want anymore

e.g  - " Gu ai mo?  " ( Do you want anymore ?)
         " Milo "           ( Dun want anymore)

2. Malaysia  - Cannot eat

e.g      "  Eh lei sia KFC meh ?" ( Can I eat KFC?)
          " Malaysia "                     ( Cannot eat)

3. Tomorrow -  No more left

e.g    - Eh  KFC gu mo ?  ( anymore KFC? )
           " Tomorrow "         ( no more)

4. Again      - It's salty

e.g      " KFC eh gen meh?    ( Is KFC salty?)
          " Again"                      ( it's salty)

5. Celaka  - Very hot

e.g    " KFC hot and spicy eh ho xia meh ? ( is hot and spicy good?)
          " Celaka "                                          (very hot)
            ( Celaka is a  swear word in Malay )

6.  Siapa you  -    Eat banana

    e.g  " Nu xia xie no? "   ( what are you eating? )
           " Siapa you  "         ( eating banana )
  
            ( "Siapa you" also means "who are you"  in colloquial Malay language)


Continue to Foochow 102